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 McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals

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babaganoosh
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PostSubject: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Thu Jul 08, 2010 7:12 pm

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McDonald's executives were left with egg (McMuffin) on their face this week, when over 5,000 Happy Meals were distributed with colored condoms instead of a plastic toy from the movie The Last Airbender.

The condoms were intended for the Provincetown, Mass. school system, which recently established a policy making them available for students of all ages; they were delivered to McDonald's distribution center in Barnstable, Mass. in error.

"They were so bright and colorful, they were mistaken for Happy Meal toys," explained McDonald's vice president of public relations Robin Anderson. "Unfortunately most of the workers there don't read English, and they thought 'Ribbed Latex' was a character from The Last Airbender."

"Who ever heard of The Last Airbender anyway?" added Jose Estevez, president of McDonald's Distribution Union 8801, in defense of his fellow workers.

The mistake led to an incident in a Brewster, Mass., McDonald's, where more than a dozen 8-year-olds attending a birthday party all opened their condoms at once, and immediately blew them into balloons and started batting them around the restaurant.

Shrieks of horror ensued from several other patrons, and one elderly woman fainted when a condom balloon landed in her Filet O' Fish.

"She'd apparently never seen one that size before," explained Brewster Police Chief Bradley Heffernan, who noted that there were some similar concerns when Congress instituted its "Cash For Condoms" program.

The McDonald's incident also caused problems in Provincetown, where the schools accidentally received the restaurant's shipments of Last Airbender toys, and several were released to students who went into their school's nurse's office seeking condoms.

"This was actually very successful among the younger grades, where students would much rather get a stuffed 'Momo' doll than a condom," admitted School Superintendent Beth Singer, who in recent weeks has had to defend the school district's policy of distributing condoms to any student who asks, and not notifying parents.

"But unfortunately there was an issue with Last Airbender Aang Water Cannons being distributed to high school students, resulting in several unwanted pregnancies," said Singer.

"Dude, I followed the directions and everything," said Provincetown High School sophomore 'Josh,' who convinced his girlfriend 'Jennifer' that everything would be okay if they assembled the Water Cannon correctly and used it according to the specifications on the accompanying instruction sheet. "It was fun, but no way did it keep her from getting knocked up."

Parents in Provincetown have been understandably upset at the mix-up, particularly coming off the controversy about the condom distribution.

"It was bad enough to hear my first grader could get a condom in school, but to hear they could be given that plastic McDonald's crap and the school wouldn't have to let me know, well, that's just unacceptable," said parent Sally Cooper. "At least a condom has some practical use to it."

Meanwhile, the producers of The Last Airbender have issued a formal thank you to the Post Office, McDonald's and the Provincetown School System for "doing something that might actually get somebody to notice our lame movie."
Would you rather have a stupid Last Airbender toy, or something that's actually useful? Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Thu Jul 08, 2010 8:59 pm

Hey....I didn't get food with my condom. Sad
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babaganoosh
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:05 pm

^^You mean condom with your food?
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:11 pm

Yes. But conmdoms with my food would be cool too.
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babaganoosh
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:15 pm

What did you plan to do with your food that you need condoms for? Razz
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:22 pm

I'll eat the food, use the condoms. It's a win-win.
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:24 pm

ayatollahofrocknrolla wrote:
I'll eat the food, use the condoms.
In that order, or the other way around? Razz
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Thu Jul 08, 2010 9:43 pm

You know what, it depends.
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Thu Jul 08, 2010 11:05 pm

Gonna order yourself some American Apple Pie? Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Thu Jul 08, 2010 11:35 pm

Yes, I think I will.
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Sun Jul 25, 2010 2:10 am

"She'd apparently never seen one that size before,"

lol
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:46 pm

Man, that is awesome. Unfortunately they were poor quality condoms
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:48 am

Anything is better then The Last Airbender. McDonalds was just thinking of how to get ahead of the game. Smart move. Fuck you Burger King.
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Sun Aug 08, 2010 5:03 pm

My school gives free condoms to students =P
Though most of us go the day before gigs and put them under a tap... flinging round a 'wet' condom at a gig gets you to the front remarkably quick... (plus they're shit, they're not really practical for what they're meant to be used for).
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:19 am

^ Balloon animals?
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:56 am

they cant say it wasnt a good menu! .. You eat there and then they give you safety if you want to 'eat' again
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PostSubject: Re: McDonalds Hands out 5000+ Condoms in Happy Meals   Fri Aug 13, 2010 10:12 am

Buy a meal and get to play with your girlfriend in our bathroom. McDonald slogan "We give you the condom, you hunt the whores"
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