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 Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels

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babaganoosh
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PostSubject: Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels   Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:38 am

Don't want some religious debate or anything like that, but just felt like the headline was pretty awesome. Don't get rid of pedophilia, let's just get it down to some acceptable level Razz

Quote :
VATICAN CITY—Calling the behavior shameful, sinful, and much more frequent than the Vatican was comfortable with, Pope Benedict XVI vowed this week to bring the widespread pedophilia within the Roman Catholic Church down to a more manageable level.

Addressing thousands gathered at St. Peter's Square on Easter Sunday, the pontiff offered his "most humble apologies" to abuse victims, and pledged to reduce the total number of molestations by 60 percent over the next five years.

"This is absolutely unacceptable," Pope Benedict said. "It seems a weakening of faith in God has prevented our priests from exercising moderation when sexually abusing helpless minors."

"And let me remind our clergy of the holy vows they all took when they entered the priesthood," he continued. "They should know that they're only allowed one small child every other month."

The pope said he was deeply disappointed to learn that the number of children sexually abused by priests was almost 10 times beyond the allowable limit clearly outlined in church doctrine. Admitting for the first time in public that the overindulgent touching of "tender, tender young flesh" had become a full-blown crisis, the Holy Father vowed to implement new reforms to bring the pedophilia rate back down to five children per 1,000 clergy.

"The truth is there will always be a little bit of molestation—it's simply unavoidable," Vatican spokesperson Rev. Federico Lombardi said. "But the fact that young boys have gotten much more attractive over the past few decades is no excuse for the blatant defiance of church limits that have been in place for centuries."

"The majority of priests don't want to molest kids at all," he added. "But for those who do, we must make sure they're doing it at a reasonable rate."

Following the pope's speech, the Vatican released a statement outlining its plan to reduce pedophilia. Starting next year, specially trained cardinals will make unannounced visits to inspect and observe random churches in order to ensure they are not going beyond diocese-wide molestation caps. The inspector-cardinals will grade each parish based on long, private interviews with altar boys in darkened church basements, and careful observation of priests' sexual activity.

These senior officials will also have the authority to enforce harsh punishments for any clergy member violating his allotment of pedophilia.
"If a priest goes even one child over the limit, there will be hell to pay," said Prefect Emeritus of the Congregation for Bishops Giovanni Battista Re, explaining the Vatican's new "Three Strikes, You're Out Rule." "After the third offense, the offending priest will immediately be moved to another parish. This will give officials time to investigate the case, and will act as an effective deterrent since it usually takes months for priests to gain the trust of the new children."

As a "goodwill measure," Cardinal Re said all churches will also be required to display a sign next to the altar showing the number of days since the last molestation.

Criticism of the pope's new plan has already begun to emerge from within the Catholic Church itself. Rev. Walter Moore, a pastor at St. Peter's in Chicago, questioned the Vatican's methodology in calculating the molestation rates, saying the church's inconsistent definition of pedophilia may have skewed the numbers.

"Is it technically pedophilia if the child's clothes are fully on the entire time? What if he's asleep when it happens?" Moore said. "It's time we had some clear guidance from Rome on this issue. For instance, the church counts it as one incident regardless of whether the child is molested multiple times by the same individual or by two priests at once. That's just plain wrong."

"Plus, if it's supposed to be a special secret between the priest and the boy, is it even any of the church's business in the first place?" he added. "Maybe Brandon is just trying to get attention."

The Vatican would not release details of the pope's upcoming world tour, in which he plans to clear up any confusion on the matter by personally demonstrating what constitutes molestation
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PostSubject: Re: Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels   Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:01 pm

Just Lulzy, Catholic church is soooo corrupt
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PostSubject: Re: Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels   Tue Apr 06, 2010 6:33 pm

Sykesy wrote:
Just Lulzy, Catholic church is soooo corrupt

Just Lulzy.

You have no idea what your talking about.
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Sykesy
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PostSubject: Re: Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels   Tue Apr 06, 2010 6:50 pm

Affy wrote:
Sykesy wrote:
Just Lulzy, Catholic church is soooo corrupt

Just Lulzy.

You have no idea what your talking about.

Yeah I do,

- The church is greedy as hell
- Countless claims of Pedophilia





"This cross is not broken, but turned upside down. It indicates the rejection of Jesus Christ and contempt for the gospel of salvation. Inverted symbols are typical of the opposite values pursued by Satanists. People who are sometimes sacrificed to Satan on Black Sabbath are crucified upside down in accordance with this tradition."

“...even now are there many antichrists…” —1st John 2:18.


“And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet color (official Vatican colors), and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls (the Vatican is filthy rich), having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations (the Holocaust, inquisitions, etc.) and filthiness of her fornication: And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY (very few people realize where the Catholic religion started), BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS (who seduce people into their damnable religion) AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH” —Revelation 17:4,5

Tell me Affy, How many times have you walked into a Catholic Church and not seen Jesus in Pain, Jesus as a Baby with Mary looking down on him or this hand symbol



Never ... If that is not proof then I do not know what is Affy.



Very famous Image, Notice the scars in her hands? ... Disgusting.

I know I sound like TNALDF but it does not take a genius to realize what is going on here.

Images and some text credited to jesus-is-saviour.com
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Affy
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PostSubject: Re: Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels   Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:34 pm

Okay Chad.
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PostSubject: Re: Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels   Wed Apr 07, 2010 1:03 am

Quote :
"This is absolutely unacceptable," Pope Benedict said. "It seems a weakening of faith in God has prevented our priests from exercising moderation when sexually abusing helpless minors."

Let's stop talking about those scars for a minute, no one is ever truly going to have religion figured out, so I wouldn't bother. But it's beside the point to this story anyway. Don't know how real this actually is, just cause of how fucking crazy it is. But maybe I just underestimate how crazy religion can make people. Assuming it is true, The Pope is saying they shouldn't stop it completely, just moderate it. "Alright, I guess I've fondled your balls enough for one day, you can go home. See you at Easter service, Timmy." I mean, come on. The priesthood isn't a fucking diet and children aren't a slice of pizza, you can't just treat yourself to one every over month. "You're sexually abusing kids?! Well, fine. But it better not be more than 6 a year!". Call me crazy but touching kids isn't something that should have a three strike system. And the logic there is, they'll move them somewhere else because they will have to gain the trust of the new children. So you're basically going to put them in the naughty corner for a while, until these new kids trust them enough, so they can just repeat the process. Or just do it in their sleep, cause it doesn't count that way apparently. If this isn't fake, fucked up doesn't even begin to describe it. I mean, come on, what the fuck Vatican?! What the fuck?!
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babaganoosh
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PostSubject: Re: Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels   Wed Apr 07, 2010 11:21 am

Sykesy wrote:
Affy wrote:
Sykesy wrote:
Just Lulzy, Catholic church is soooo corrupt

Just Lulzy.

You have no idea what your talking about.

Yeah I do,

- The church is greedy as hell
- Countless claims of Pedophilia





"This cross is not broken, but turned upside down. It indicates the rejection of Jesus Christ and contempt for the gospel of salvation. Inverted symbols are typical of the opposite values pursued by Satanists. People who are sometimes sacrificed to Satan on Black Sabbath are crucified upside down in accordance with this tradition."

“...even now are there many antichrists…” —1st John 2:18.


“And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet color (official Vatican colors), and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls (the Vatican is filthy rich), having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations (the Holocaust, inquisitions, etc.) and filthiness of her fornication: And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY (very few people realize where the Catholic religion started), BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS (who seduce people into their damnable religion) AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH” —Revelation 17:4,5

Tell me Affy, How many times have you walked into a Catholic Church and not seen Jesus in Pain, Jesus as a Baby with Mary looking down on him or this hand symbol



Never ... If that is not proof then I do not know what is Affy.



Very famous Image, Notice the scars in her hands? ... Disgusting.

I know I sound like TNALDF but it does not take a genius to realize what is going on here.

Images and some text credited to jesus-is-saviour.com
No religious debate >.<
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Concrete Jesus
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PostSubject: Re: Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels   Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:08 am

I haven't read the part in the Bible about "acceptable pedophilia", so exactly what amount is acceptable. 10? 20? a couple hundred? These Bible thumping, pious, judgmental, holly rollers make me laugh.
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babaganoosh
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PostSubject: Re: Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels   Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:13 am

Mistake making this thread :S

*LOCKED*
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